Walking the path

(2-minute read)

As far back as I remember, I have had difficulty remembering names. When it was necessary to remember someone’s name, I always wrote it down. The older I get, the less confidence I have in remembering names. When I get up in the morning, do I remember what’s-her-name, my wife? Do I remember my name?

During the summer, I had a stent put in a coronary artery. My doctor sent me to coronary rehabilitation. It’s 36 sessions of monitored exercise while wearing a heart monitor. On my first day, I felt like the Lord wanted me to remember everyone’s name. It was a total of 20 people I met over several weeks. I was shocked that I could remember the names, without writing them down, with minimal difficulty. I wondered if the Lord had done some miraculous thing, but I don’t think so after examining it. It appears that the thing that’s held me back my entire life is my perception of myself.

I’ve heard several doctors laugh about patients who took their symptoms to the Internet and came in believing they had some terrible disease. The same thing happens with many mental disorders, such as ADHD, PTSD, bipolar, OCD, and so on. Not only can self-diagnosis be wrong, it can be debilitating.

I couldn’t help but wonder what else I may have misdiagnosed in myself, either spiritual or natural. We can’t always see ourselves as we really are. Like a tree, sometimes it must lose its leaves for us to see where it’s bent. My prayer today is, Lord, help me see myself more clearly.