Walking the path

(2-minute read)

Sometimes, I’m surprised by selfish thoughts that go through my mind, and I’ll say to myself, “I don’t want to think that.” I used to always blame the devil, but it wasn’t until I had to deal with my own emotional crisis that I realized that most unwanted thoughts don’t come from the outside. My brain’s subconscious and unconscious parts work on my behalf without me being aware of what they’re doing. They are, by their very design, selfish. They control the beat of my heart, the workings of my lungs, and all the other things that keep me alive. They work to decide what I will do in times of danger. Is it to fight, or is it flight? In an extreme emergency, that portion of the brain tries to take over.

I can’t reason with that part of my brain. I’ve been wanting to lose weight, but that part of my thinking starts screaming at me that I’m hungry if I reduce the amount I eat. It’s constantly seeking my “normal” even when it’s not what’s best for me. Recently, I had a steak dinner in a restaurant with friends. A small portion of my steak was left over, and I took it home in a doggy bag. The following morning, my wife and I rewarmed that small piece of steak and shared it with eggs for breakfast. That entire piece of steak would not have been enough to satisfy my hunger at dinner, but with breakfast, it was just right. My breakfast typically has a very small piece of meat, such as bacon or sausage. Even after not eating for over 12 hours, my unconscious mind was happy with the meal because I did what was normal.

Although the unconscious mind cannot be reasoned with, it can be trained. When I was in the military, they taught us what to do in times of danger. We practiced what we needed to do over and over again. When those occasions of danger arose, my unconscious mind told me that my best chance for survival was to do what I was trained to do. I remember having great clarity of thought during those times.

I’ve decided that I want a new normal for my life. I’m talking about a great deal more than just how I eat. I desire to change how I think. I’ve asked the Lord to help me design my life in a way that would please him and help me practice it every day. There is a lot I need to change, and at my age, I may not get it all done in the time I have left. Since 2/3 of my brain is trying to control my life by what it perceives as normal, I need to turn the page and create a new normal.