Walking the path

(3-minute read)

My introduction to understanding my conscience did not go well. I think I was three years old, and my mother was upset about something I had done. I don’t remember what I did, but in my defense, I remember saying, “You never told me not to do that.”

My mother replied, “But you should have known not to do that.”

I restated my defense, “You never told me not to do that.”

In the simplest of terms, my mother tried to explain that there was something inside of me that tells me when something was right or wrong. But no matter what she said, I replied, “You never told me not to do that.”

At three years old, I didn’t live in a world controlled by what I thought was right and wrong. I lived in a world based on what my mother thought was right or wrong. My defense wasn’t working, but I didn’t know what else to do, so I said, “You never told me not to do that.”

I may have teared up or something because my mother tried to calm me by saying, “You’re not going to be punished.” When she said that, I began to cry uncontrollably and once again said, “You never told me not to do that.” My mother being upset or disappointed in me was worse than any punishment.

My mother liked to turn everyday events into opportunities to teach me something, just as she had done on innumerable occasions. Although this first day didn’t work out very well, I would go on to learn that my conscience was one of my most valuable tools in following the Lord.

As an adult, when I paid attention to what was happening, I noticed that I would first get a feeling and then a sudden understanding, followed by words. At first, I thought those words might have been from the Lord. However, on further observation, I discovered the feeling and the understanding were from the Lord, but the words were my subconscious mind verbalizing for my conscious rational mind what to do, such as, “Don’t do that.”

Throughout my early life, my conscience would nudge me when I was about to do something wrong. It became alive when I asked Jesus to be my Lord and Savior. My mother had mentioned that it would help me to know right and wrong, but until that day, I only got a nudge regarding what was wrong. When the Lord came into my life, there were far more times when it prompted me to do what was right.

In the same way, my conscience gave me the feeling, understanding, and words to not do what was wrong; it also gave me the feeling, understanding, and words to do what was right. It began with such simple things, small things, most of which no one would notice. After hundreds of times of obeying what not to do, I had changed enough to be ready when the big temptations came. In the same way, when I listened to those very small things about the right thing to do, those hundreds of times helped me be ready when the more significant right opportunities were there.

For many years, people have encouraged me to find out what the Lord is doing and join him in doing that. The problem was I didn’t know what the Lord was doing. My conscience prepared me with very small, insignificant good things to be ready to see when the Lord was doing something he wanted me to be a part of. My conscience works in precisely the same way to do what the Lord wants as it did to keep me from doing what I shouldn’t do. My mother was correct; there was something inside of me to tell me what was right and wrong. It was the spirit of the Lord.